Programmer automates his job with hilarious scripts

P

This is a story of a programmer who wanted to automate anything that takes more than 90 seconds of his time. His code is being shared on GitHub, covering stuff like dealing with his wife, a co-worker he didn’t seem to like a lot and even brewing coffee.“OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal,” a user named narkoz shares with the community. And then he proceeds to reveal his “legacy”. The first script sends a text message to the programmer’s wife, telling her he’ll be late. A reason is randomly picked from a large pool of options. It fires off if the guy has active server sessions after 9 pm. He had a similar one for his bosses, too, set off by him not logging in until 8:45 am.
 
Need to deal with annoying co-workers all the time? This story’s protagonist did, too. The script named “Kumar-asshole.ch” scans for emails from said Kumar. If specific keywords like “help” are found, the script rolls his server back to a backup and sends a message to let Kumar now it’s been fixed.

Now for the cherry on the cake – the unknown programmer actually automated brewing coffee as well. Upon execution of f*cking_coffee.sh the machine waits 17 seconds, starts brewing, pauses for another 24 seconds and pours a latte. The pauses were apparently calculations of how long it takes to get from the desk to the coffee machine.

Hope this post has inspired you to do something creative yet productive for the new week!

Source: https://github.com/NARKOZ/hacker-scripts

Pic: © fancycrave_pixabay

Viktor Marinov

Viktor is the voice behind the freelancermap blog. Every week he comes up with helpful hints, checklists, and guides for freelancers and independent workers. If you would like to know how to find remote jobs online or how to niche yourself as a freelancer, don't miss his freelancer tips!

By Viktor Marinov

Recent Posts

Cookie Consent One Trust